Leading Through Influence

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Leadership isn’t about your professional title. It’s about how you show up and how you create the space for people to do their best work. Some of the most impactful leaders don't need titles; they lead through influence, by coaching, questioning, and supporting others to grow.

Leadership by Coaching, Not Directing

It’s tempting as a leader to jump straight into telling someone what to do or how to do it, especially when you have experience. The same is true when you’re working with someone early in their career. But when we default to directing, we often create dependency instead of building ownership. It can stifle creativity, autonomy, and intrinsic motivation. And beyond that, regardless of experience level, complex problems often benefit from fresh perspectives that can spark innovation.

Instead of prescribing the answer, frame the challenge and coach them through the process. Consider asking:

  • What options do you see?
  • What impact might this have on the user, the business, or other related systems?
  • What would success look like?

This approach not only helps people trust their own judgment, it also strengthens their autonomy and sense of ownership. In the end, it taps into what truly motivates people: autonomy, mastery, and purpose—the core drivers of motivation and growth.

Continuous Learning Through Iteration

The tech industry often talks about “failing fast.” But failure sounds final, and mistakes feel like judgment — and that misses the point. What really matters is iteration: experimenting, learning, and adapting based on what we discover.

When work is framed as iterative and risk is seen as experimentation, the mindset shifts from “What if I fail?” to “What can I learn and refine?” That shift encourages adaptability and curiosity, both for individuals and, over time, for teams.

Iteration also fosters psychological safety. When people know they’re encouraged to test, learn, and adjust, fear-driven anxiety gives way to excitement for growth. And in the process, they develop autonomy, strengthen ownership, and build leadership skills — outcomes that not only grow individuals, but also elevate the team as a whole.

Practical Ways to Lead Through Influence

So what does this look like day to day? A few practices I come back to most often, with coaching as the default and direct guidance only when urgency or safety requires it, include:

  • Provide problems, not solutions. Let people grapple with challenges and bring their own answers forward.
  • Ask open-ended questions. Push thinking further by asking questions like “why,” “what if,” or “how else.”
  • Frame work as iterative experiments. Encourage people to test, learn, and pivot when new information emerges.

These practices create the conditions where influence replaces authority and growth takes root naturally.

Closing Thoughts

Titles don’t make leaders. Behaviors do.

Leadership through influence isn’t about holding authority. It’s about creating a safe space where people can experiment, learn, and grow.

The leaders who make the biggest impact aren’t the ones with the most answers. They’re the ones who create more leaders.

Resources and Inspiration